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Friday, January 27, 2012

A Promise Kept

Recently a friend of mine sent me this book about a couple's journey with Alzheimer. This book is beautifully and gently written by the husband whose wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer and their journey with it for the ten to fifteen years that she lived with it. Of course it reminded me of my mother and my father and I see so much of my dad in this book. I see the love he has for my mother and how he takes care of her daily and provides only the best. One of my favorite parts from this book is when the husband said he "gets" to take care of his wife. Here is the context which is so beautiful to me written from the husband's point of view:
"The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel "in sickness and in health...till death do us part." So as I told the students and faculty, as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; and if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of her debt. Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more: I love Muriel. She is a delight to me-her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of wit I used to relish so, 
her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. 
I don't have to take care of her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person." 

These are the words I read over the past two days. I am not a reader because I don't seem to have time in my day to fit in a book. But this one, because so dear to my heart of an issue, I couldn't put down. My kids say this book makes mom cry and they would ask me are you crying every time they saw me reading it. I cry because I see my mother. I cry because I see my father so deeply caring for this wonderful person and I cry hoping one day that it's not me who needs all this care by my loved ones and my body deteriorating, unable to do everything I love doing. Thank you Nicole for this reading and thank you dad for loving mom more deeply everyday. I pray for more love and more strength as you get to take care of her. 

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