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Sunday, March 3, 2013

Mirror Mirror

mirrors


"Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?" The fairy tale begins with the queen asking the mirror to tell her the truth, which it does time and time again. The queen of course never liked the answer, but it was the truth, there was someone more beautiful than she. How true most fairy tales are, the mirror always shows us the truth. The truth of our age, the truth of our weight, and how we look to others. And as I passed one yesterday while browsing in TJMaxx, I caught a glimpsed of myself, a short but ever so revealing glimpse. There she was, my mother was staring right back at me. Her demeanor, her walk, her face, her eyes, starring right back at me.  And in that moment every memory of Marshalls, TJ MAxx, and Gemco flushed my mind like roaring rapids; filling me up with happiness and sadness all at the same time. She loved shopping at Marshalls and revealing all her deals. She would go there often, probably when we were all in school too. That's where she hung out, made friends, and felt pretty trying on clothes. There she was, staring right back at me wanting to hang out with her me. She loved hanging out together with the kids, shopping, filling our lives up with tokens of love. I'm her, I'm my mother. And I will probably end up like her, sitting on a couch not able to do the things I love doing, with the people I love being with. I am her, my daughters are me, and they will probably, hopefully, remember our moments, our memories and how much I used to be able to do, and how I can't anymore. I saw her starring back at me, wanting to hang out, and do what she used to be able to do. I am my mother, and with this knowledge, I will live every minute to the fullest, most joyful limit possible, because I may not remember this at all. Mirror, mirror on the wall...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I enjoy your posts about your parents, very indicative of the influence they have in your life. My question is though, is there something more you can do for them, especially your mother, as she suffers through this phase in her life. Perhaps daily visits of a few hours is what you feel you can do, but in reality, maybe that's not what she needs. Maybe what she needs is to be around her loves, as you all live through your daily activities, with her watching on the sideline. Though she is unable to do much, I am convinced that her mind is still remotely conscious to know the people she loves most, and know whether she is still needed or not. I hope you and your siblings can find a way to "give back" the much love and dedication that she has given to all of you, especially in her old age. Take care and God bless!